161. V. THAT CONJUNCTION IS INSPIRED INTO THE MAN BY THE WIFE ACCORDING TO HER LOVE, AND IS RECEIVED BY THE MAN ACCORDING TO HIS WISDOM. That love and thence conjunction is inspired into the man by the wife is at this day concealed from men, yea, is universally denied by wives. The reason is because they persuade the men that it is they alone who love, and themselves who receive the love; or that men are loves and themselves obediences. They also rejoice in heart when the men believe this. There are many reasons why they thus persuade them, all of which pertain to the prudence and circumspection of wives. Of this, something shall be told in the following pages, and specifically in the chapter on The Causes of Colds, Separations, and Divorces between Married Partners. That the inspiration or insinuation of love is from the wives into the men is because there is nothing of conjugial love with men, nor even of love of the sex, but only with wives and women. That such is the case was shown me in a living way in the spiritual world.
[2] Once during a conversation there on this subject, the men, persuaded by their wives, insisted that it is they who love, and not the wives, and that the wives receive that love from them. To settle the controversy about this arcanum, all the women, including the wives, were withdrawn from the men, and with them was removed the sphere of love of the sex. With this removed, the men came into a state altogether strange and never before perceived, at which they greatly complained. Then, while they were in this state, the women were brought to them, and the wives to their husbands, and both the women and the wives spoke sweetly to them; but the men were cold to their blandishments and, turning away, said among themselves, "What is this? What is a woman?" And when some of the women said that they were their wives, they answered, "What is a wife? We do not know you." But when the wives began to grieve over this utterly cold indifference on the part of the men, and some of them to weep, the sphere of the love of the female sex and the conjugial sphere which till then had been taken away from the men was restored, and the men at once returned into their former state, the lovers of marriage into theirs, and the lovers of the sex into theirs. In this way the men were convinced that nothing of conjugial love or even of love of the sex resided with them, but solely with wives and women. Nevertheless, after this the wives from their prudence induced the men to believe that love resides with the men, and that from them some spark thereof may pass into themselves.*
[3] This experience is adduced here, that it may be known that wives are loves and men receptions. That men are receptions according to the wisdom with them, especially according to that wisdom from religion which teaches that the wife alone is to be loved, is evident from the consideration that when the wife alone is loved, the love is concentrated; and, being thereby also ennobled, it remains in its strength and is steadfast and enduring. Otherwise it would be as when wheat from the granary is thrown to the dogs, whereby there is want at home.
* In the original edition, this paragraph is enclosed in quotation marks.